The Rookie
So I'm in an alley behind a crack house, enjoying a nice meal of a pimp daddy I caught trying to whore out a fifteen-year old girl, when I hear someone coming fast behind me. I turn around to see a scrawny teen boy charging me with a glowing blue tire iron. I throw up the shadows and dart out of the way, leaving him in the darkness to contemplate his situation.
He runs out of the shadow flapping his arms like he's fighting off rabid pigeons. He drops the tire iron as he trips over a loose manhole cover. He curses as his face meets asphalt.
My cell phone rings.
"You need some help getting up?" I ask as I answer the phone.
"I'm gonna kill you!" he whimpers.
"Yeah…o.k…anyway…"
"Alex, don't kill him." It's Heather's voice on the phone.
"Hi, Heather. Can't talk now. I got one of the Scooby Gang here to deal with." The kid gets to his feet and lunges for the now dormant tire iron. I kick it out of his reach. He curses again as he loses his balance and falls.
"Alex, I'm calling you because of him."
The kid finds a broken 2 x 4 and picks it up. "Whoa….put down the wood."
He doesn't listen, so I'm forced to summon up a shadowy tentacle to grab him.
"Now, just let me finish my phone conversation here, o.k.?" I ask.
"What kind of a vampire are you?" He cries in confusion.
"Alexandra Austin, Clan Lasombra. Nice to meet you. Now do you mind?"
"Alex, what did you do?"
"I just wrapped him in a tentacle."
"Alex! Let him go!"
"He's got a 2 x 4!"
"ALEX!"
"What the hell? How do you even know what's going on?"
"The voices told me."
"The voices…maybe you should talk to him then." I turn my attention to the struggling teen. "Listen, kid. You've got me at a disadvantage. I mean, there's no way in hell you can actually kill me. You're too inept. But I can't kill you because I live with one of your kind and quite frankly, she is MORE than capable of killing me. So I'm gonna let you go and let you talk to her on the cell phone and maybe you two can get your inner voices in sync."
The kid nods violently. I drop the tentacle and throw him my cell phone. "Hello?" he says without taking his eyes off of me. He says "uh huh" a lot while Heather is talking to him. I open the manhole cover and drop my almost empty meal into the sewer. There's still a little blood in him, so any sewer rat that comes along will appreciate the free meal. And they're better at disposing of the bodies.
"Um, she wants to talk to you," he says as he hands me back my phone.
"Alex, bring him home with you."
"Huh?"
"I really need to talk to him. He needs help."
"You know, it's bad enough two of you guys know where I sleep…"
"He'll get himself killed without training."
"You're gonna train him?"
"Just bring him home with you." She hangs up.
We stare at each other for a moment.
"She said I should stop trying to kill you," he finally blurts out.
"That was probably good advice." I shake my head. "Come on." I walk pass him and head for my Harley. He follows me cautiously. I mount the bike and start it up. "Well, get on. Unless you're gonna walk behind me. But I don't think you'll keep up."
He gets on the bike and I take him home. Heather is waiting anxiously at the door. She shepherds him into the kitchen and puts a plate of leftover lasagna in front of him.
"Where's Ralph?" I ask, realizing the house is WAY to quite.
"He went over to Jason's. Something about bottling his webbing."
"Poor Jason."
I leave Heather and the boy alone. I go downstairs and check my e-mail. There's a message from a sewerrat643@aol.com thanking me for the free meal and advising against taking in strays. I respond with a "you're welcome" and "it wasn't my idea."
Heather comes downstairs with her arms crossed in front of her and that annoyed mom look on her face.
"You shouldn't have been so mean to him."
"I wasn't mean to him."
"You called him inept."
"He IS inept. He couldn't sneak up on a deaf man."
"Tonight was his first attempt."
"You want to yell at someone, yell at the Heralds. They sent him my way."
"They sent him after you because they knew you wouldn't kill him."
"Wait a minute…"
"He needed to see what kind of power a vampire can possess. You're a safe target."
"So, what am I now. A training dummy?"
"Alex…"
I turn off the computer and slouch in my chair. It's nice to know I have a possible career as a training decoy.
"Alex, he's an orphan. He's been living with his uncle since his parents died five years ago. Up until a few weeks ago, he's been on anti-depressant medication."
"So what changed?"
"His uncle got laid off and the medical benefits stopped. They couldn't afford the medication out of pocket. That's when the voices started."
"Ohhhh, I get it. He's not a hunter. He's just insane. I feel much better about him trying to stake me now."
"Why is everything a joke with you?"
"Sarcasm is a well-known survival instinct." Heather scowl tells me she's not appreciating my stand-up routine.
"The medication dulled his mind. The heralds couldn't adequately communicate with him. His parents were killed by vampires. They made it look like a car accident. You're right, maybe slaying is out of his league, but he might make a good tracker. In any event, if I don't help him he'll either go mad or get killed." Heather sighs deeply and goes back upstairs to deal with her new charge.
I go upstairs and the kid is talking to his uncle on the phone. Some story about meeting up with some friends and losing track of time. I guess his uncle is just so happy the kid might have friends he can forgive him wandering the streets at 3 in the morning.
"What's your uncle do for a living, kid?" I ask.
"He was a warehouse supervisor."
I get his uncle's name and basic info. I call Martin. He gets a lot of business owners at the club. Guys who like to let loose a little steam by putting on a leather thong and being spanked by a woman in six inch stilettos.
"You want me to what?" asked Martin. It was almost 5 am. He was having trouble staying awake.
"Come on. You gotta know somebody who can be persuaded to hire him."
"And I should help you find a job for the uncle of a newborn hunter…why?"
"I'll break your spine in several places if you do?"
"Really?" He sounds so happy all the sudden.
"Slowly…with my bare hands."
"Come to think of it, I might know someone after all. Runs a chain of liquor stores. I buy a lot of my stuff for the bar from him. He owes me." I can almost hear him bouncing in his chair.
Martin takes masochism to a whole new level. Once some Sabbat war party tried to torture him into giving up my location. It took them three nights to realize the hot pokers and razors were making him orgasmic. It wasn't until they stopped torturing him to figure out what to do next that he offered to call me and have me come over. When I got there, he went all horrid form and the two of us had a nice meal.
I hang up with Martin just as Ralph is coming in. He's got a green glass cylinder in his hands with all sorts of odd buttons on it.
"Oh good, you're still up! If I open this, can you put some of your shadow-stuff in it real quick?"
"Why?"
"Because I think I can synthesize a shadow web that could be used in a small rocket launcher and…"
"Maybe tonight."
"Promise?"
I nod and wave him off. I hear him running through the house looking for Heather as I crawl into my coffin. I start thinking about the kid. What kind of crazy training is he going to get from a hunter that lives with a mage and a vampire?
And more importantly, how many more new recruits are the Heralds going to send my way for testing?
|
|
